Backpacks and Crushing Loads – Galatians 6

“If you were a good person, you would help me.” 

He stared at his phone, unable to respond.  He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation…… again.  It was so annoying that she would expect him to just keep doing this over and over again.  Annoying wasn’t the right word.  He was furious.  He wanted to scream.

She did this all the time.  She would skip school, miss class, show up tardy, miss days for ISS, and even when she was in class, she was so busy talking and playing on her phone hidden in her lap under her desk, so much that she wouldn’t have a clue what was going on in history class.  Then, when it came to a big test, she would expect him to just hand over his notes, his study guides, and his project research, as if he hadn’t worked his tail off to have everything ready.  She expected him to just do all the work for her while she messed around.

Welp!  He had bailed her out for the last time.  Today, when she messaged, “Send me your notes, ya?” he refused.  That’s when he realized just how much she used him then attacked his character by saying he wasn’t a good person.  That was the moment he realized she didn’t care about him at all.  All she cared about was what he could do for her.

Not a good person?  Was he a good person?  Hadn’t he been trying to “help” her for months?  

He stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom.  The fan was making slow circles, moving the cool basement air and causing the pages of his notebook to flutter in the breeze.  Maybe she was right.  It wasn’t really a big deal….sharing his notes was easy.  All he had to do was take a few pictures and send them to her.  It’s not like she was asking him to rob a bank or anything.  Wouldn’t he do it for other friends?

He had done it for other friends.  Last month, when his best friend had his appendix removed, hadn’t he happily sent notes and study guides?  He didn’t even hesitate?  And what about his desk partner?  His desk partner struggled in school.  Nothing came easy for that kid, and he had to work his tail off just to pass the class.  Didn’t he share his notes every day?  Of course he did!  He would be a terrible friend, if he refused to help.

So why did this request bother him so much?

Maybe he was wrong to refuse her.  Maybe this time, she’ll learn her lesson.  Maybe this was the time she would realize how lazy she had been and turn her life around.  Maybe if he helped her just one more time, she would start taking school more seriously.  Maybe if he could work hard and get good grades, she would look at him and all his success and realize that she, too, wanted a studious, hard working life.

Didn’t the Bible say you are supposed to love your neighbor as yourself?  If he needed help with school work, wouldn’t he want someone to step up and do this for him, just like he was doing for her?

His phone lit up again.  

“I can’t believe you don’t care about me more than that.  Don’t you want me to get good grades? Or maybe you aren’t the friend I thought you were.”

Something about this felt weird. However, maybe she was right.  Maybe he was just frustrated with her and was taking it out on her by refusing to help. Maybe he was a bad friend.  

He opened his notebook and the camera app on his phone. 

“Maybe this time it’ll make a difference,” he thought.  Deep in his heart he knew he was wrong.

We all have moments in our lives where we are expected to step up and help those around us. We have all found ourselves in situations where we have the ability to help our neighbor. Maybe you have a friend who needs help with their homework, or your mom needs help watching your little brother after school, or your grandfather just doesn’t get around like he used to, and you go over to his house once a week just to do a few small chores.

Whatever the situation, I am sure that if you stopped right now, you could list more than ten people in your life that you have helped just this week.

It’s what makes being part of a family so special.  It’s why we need friend groups and coworkers and church buddies.  Having a squad isn’t just so you have someone to hang out with on a Friday night.  They are also there for you when things go sideways, and you need a little boost.

But what do you do when you have that person in your life that just seems to always need things? They always have big emergencies that you are supposed to drop everything for. They always need you to give and give, but they rarely give back.

What does the Bible say about mooches?

Galatians 6 actually gives a very confusing look at what God says about people who need help.  That’s right!  I said it was confusing.  You see, there are some places in the Bible where it SEEMS that God contradicts Himself. However, because God is good, and always right, contradictions cannot exist.

I would like you to take a peek at Galatians 6: 2 and 5.

See what I mean?  In verse two, Paul, the writer of Galatians, says to carry each other’s burdens.  Then, just three verses later in verse five, he tells us that each person should carry their own load.

So, which one is it, Paul????

I would like to pause here and remind you that when the Bible was written, it was not written in English.  It was originally written in Hebrew and Greek.  Different sections were written by different authors, and each of those authors wrote in their first language or in whatever was the most common language in their region at the time.  The problem with this is that as the Bible is translated from language to language, there is often not a word available in the current language to express what was meant at the time and in the language the author was writing.

What I’m saying here is that there are some ideas that can be lost in translation.

If there is something in the Bible that seems to contradict itself, it may be that the words didn’t translate into English the way they were meant.  I believe that Galatians 6 is one of those times.

You see, in Galatians 6: 2, Paul used the word “baros” for burdens. In the original Greek, that means “crushing load”.

In Galatians 6:5, Paul used the word “phortion”.  In the original Greek, this word means “backpack”.

Think with me on this for a minute.  What those two words mean is that each person not only has a daily “backpack” of things to carry, but we also sometimes have a “crushing load” to carry.  In Galatians 6, Paul is not contradicting himself.  Instead, he is illustrating for us when to help out a friend and when to step back and let them take care of themselves.

Galatians 6: 2 Paul says we should always help out people with their “crushing loads”, and in Galatians 6: 5 Paul tells us that each person needs to carry their own “daily backpack”.

Know anyone with a crushing load?  I do, and I’ll bet one or two people came to mind for you just now, as well.

A few years ago, I had a dear friend who had a house fire.  They lost so much.  The fire happened in the middle of the night, and they escaped the house with the clothes on their backs, their pets, and their phones.  They had to move into an empty church parsonage in town, but when I say “move” it’s just an idiom to mean that they went there to stay because there wasn’t a single thing to actually move.  When I arrived the next afternoon, they were sitting in the living room of this “loaner house”, dazed and lost.

I can’t even begin to explain to you how crushed they were.  They didn’t even have soap or shampoo to take a shower and wash the smoke from their hair.  

Of course, my friends and I had jumped to action.  We scavenged our homes for clothes for them. We went to Dollar General for daily living products. We went to the grocery store for food and snacks and bottled water.  We even found a small TV to give them, so they could hook up an old AppleTV someone had donated, so they could watch a movie instead of staring at each other in silence.

They had a CRUSHING load, and not a single person hesitated to pick up that load and carry it for them. And that is EXACTLY what God intended when He said that we should carry other people’s crushing loads.

Now, think about the idea of a daily backpack.

What kinds of things are you responsible for every day?  Maybe you have to go to school or work every day.  Maybe you have bills to pay or homework to get done.  Maybe you are supposed to hang your wet towel up on the hook in the bathroom every time you get out of the shower.  Maybe you are supposed to be treating people respectfully, even if you don’t respect them. Those are your “daily backpack” items that are your responsibility.  You would be lazy and selfish, if you expected anyone to carry your school backpack around for you all day, so why in the world would anyone expect a friend to carry their “phortion”?

I’ll bet you have a few people in mind right now that expect you to carry their daily backpack for them, don’t you?

Want me to change your life in one sentence?  Okay. Here it goes.

PUT DOWN EVERY DAILY BACKPACK EXCEPT YOURS.

Man!  I swear to you that sentence set me free the first time I heard it.  Because, y’all, I am a compulsive “backpack carrier” for everyone I know.  I spent YEARS dragging dozens of backpacks around for the people I loved, and you know what?  They were DELIGHTED to let me take their backpacks off their weary shoulders.  Who wouldn’t be? And what about me?  Well, I spent decades exhausted and worn out.  Not because my life was so hard, it wasn’t, but because I carried the burdens of everyone I knew.

I once had a boss tell me that I wore other people’s problems like a straight jacket and that she predicted it would eventually destroy me.

She wasn’t too far from the truth.  The only part that wasn’t right was the part about it destroying me.  It almost destroyed me, but it didn’t.  Thankfully, I learned to stop carrying the daily strife of others before it was too late, and I hope you do, too.

Guys.  Put. The. Backpacks. Down.

It goes against the Bible to carry someone else’s “phortion” for them.

On the flipside, get to stepping up if you know someone who currently has a “baros” or crushing load.  If you can think of someone going through a crushing load, and you aren’t doing anything to help, it’s time to reach out.

Not helping people with their crushing loads also goes against the Bible.  

Let me make it easy on you.  Let’s make a list of “baros” and “phortion”, so you can be very clear on when to step up and when to step back.

CRUSHING LOADS (baros): house fire / death / divorce / deportation / loss of job / rape / transfer to new school / move to new city / big break up / didn’t make the team / lost a big game / severe depression / scary medical diagnosis

DAILY BACKPACK (phortion): homework / pay bills / show up on time / get out of bed in the morning / clean your room / treat others with respect / arrange rides to and from places / money management / eat healthy / drink lots of water / weekend behaviors and choices / personal relationships / communication / mind your business

Now these are by no means complete lists.  Please feel free to add your own things to this list.  However, I hope this helps you see what you should be helping people with and what people should be doing for themselves.

Think about this metaphor for a second.  If I am walking down the hallway at school, and I have agreed to carry 15 backpacks for 15 of my closest friends, how am I doing with my own backpack?  Probably not so good.  If you are like me, you may not even know where your backpack is because you made everyone else’s “phortion” more important than your own.

Now think of this scenario: You are dragging 15 backpacks down the hallway, and you see a student with special needs struggling to get the bathroom door open.

Guess what?  You can’t help that student with his crushing load because you are weighed down by so many backpacks.  You just sacrificed that sweet friend’s “baros” for a bunch of lazy people’s “phortion”.  You had to ignore someone’s crushing load because you spent all your time, energy, and resources helping people with their daily backpacks.

Friends, put the backpacks down.

Now, as you choose to put down the backpacks of other people, get ready for some pushback.  You see, there are some very happy (and lazy) people in your life that have been enjoying your help.  They are completely okay with you carrying their backpack for them, and why wouldn’t they?  You have been doing all the heavy lifting, and it’s been a sweet deal for them.  When you put down backpacks, you will have a lot of angry people in your life.  Don’t let that stop you.  If they truly love you, they’ll get over it.  If they don’t get over it, they were probably using you all along.

They won’t like it when you put their daily responsibilities down because that means they will either have to pick it up themselves or go find another sucker to pick it up for them.  But remember, that’s not your problem.  You have your own backpack to worry about.  Stop enabling their laziness and manipulation by allowing them to use you for one more second.  

Put. The. Backpacks. Down.

Then, when you are free of the burdens of someone else’s daily responsibility, go help the people around you with their crushing loads.

Seek out those in situations that need REAL help.  Kids with special needs in your school are a great place to start.  Go offer to volunteer in your Special Education Department instead of a study hall next semester.  Or volunteer to help at a local food pantry or shelter in your area.

Maybe you don’t need to even go that far.  Maybe you have a friend whose parents just got a divorce.  You can help them by being a good listener.  It’s not hard to find people who have crushing loads.  Just pray, ask God to guide you, and then start looking up and around for people who need you for more than just Level 2 daily needs.

Now, if you are like me, this bit of insight is going to free you from so much burden.  I hope you can find the courage to start being selective with whom you allow yourself to help.  I want you free of daily burdens, so you can be a light to those who actually NEED you.

I do, however, have one more category of people for you to consider.  Please beware of those who have refused to carry their backpack for so long that they have created crushing loads for themselves.  These people will need special consideration.

Let me give you an example.  Let’s say there is a person you know that has fallen into substance abuse.  They have been drinking and doing drugs for long enough that they have chosen to drop out of school.  Furthermore, they can’t hold down a job, and they don’t have the money to pay their bills.

These types of situations can be tricky.  You see, their abuse of their daily responsibilities eventually lead to crushing loads.  

What do you say when they ask you for money because they can’t pay their rent?

I wish I had a black and white answer for you, but I don’t.  I have seen situations where, with the right kind of help, these people can get their lives back together and move into the light with a new sense of responsibility.

I have also seen people continue to take advantage of the kindness of others and never realize that their irresponsibility was the cause of their troubles in the first place. These people continue to take all they can from their friends, family, and even government handouts, all while never lifting a finger to help themselves.

I don’t know your situation, so I cannot offer an answer.  But you know who does know your situation, and the situation of the person you are thinking about right now?  God.

He knows.  He knows what that person needs.  He knows if they need a boost or if they need tough love.  He knows if they need you to step up or if they need you to walk away.  He knows if they need to be nurtured or if they need to experience the crushing only God can use for their good.

 Also, keep in mind that you aren’t the only one that God can and will use. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel like you are being taken advantage of, it may be better to just get out.  If that person needs someone to help, God has millions of people He can use. God is way bigger than the situation, and He doesn’t need to abuse you in order to use you.

Sometimes, with very manipulative people, it’s better to be safe than sorry.  Trust that God can handle it, even if you cannot.

My advice in these “gray area” kinds of relationships is to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.  I believe that if you stay connected to Jesus, He will speak to you and guide your words and actions to do what is best for everyone involved.

This idea of backpacks and crushing loads won’t just help you with stress and anxiety.  It will also help you become more like Christ, which is truly our only calling.  You see, even Jesus honored the “baros” and “phortion” rule.  In Matthew 14, when the disciples were hungry, he asked them what they were going to do about it. He didn’t just feed them. He expected them to get creative and figure out how to do what they could do. Now, eventually he partnered with them, but only after they took action to carry their own daily load. Jesus didn’t carry the daily “phortion” for anyone. However, when it came time for him to be crucified for the sins of all humanity? He took that crushing load on his shoulders alone. Jesus knew the difference between daily backpacks and crushing loads.  Can you imagine if the disciples needed Jesus to wake them up every morning, do their chores for them, make sure their families were taken care of, and pick up the phone every time someone “forgot” and needed him to fix it?  

There would have been no time for Jesus to heal the sick, restore hearing to the deaf, or bring people back from the dead.  Jesus couldn’t possibly carry backpacks AND help with crushing loads…… and neither can you.

On that note: please don’t confuse someone’s daily backpack or their crushing load as something you have to “save” them from.

This is where I see a lot of people make mistakes. Jesus sacrificed himself to save us all. He saved us. He had the power to save through his power as God, not through his power as a man. Too many people think they can save others. Let me be clear, you cannot save anyone. They have a savior, it’s Jesus. Jesus alone can save. If someone needs saving, turn them to Jesus.  If you try to save them, you are sitting in Jesus’ seat.  That is not your seat.  Get up and get out of the way.  

We want to be like Jesus the Human. We don’t want to be like Jesus the Savior. That’s a dangerous place to live. You are not God.  Do not act like God in anyone’s life.  Do not let anyone expect you to be God in your life.  You are human.  Because you are human and must fashion your life after the human model, Jesus Christ. Savior Complex is dangerous. 

Savior Complex is a topic for another chapter, but know that being like Christ is something we chase as humans. Don’t get a God Complex and go chasing your ability to save. You cannot. I am not talking about saving people, I am only talking about times in your life when you chose to pitch in and help and when you chose to pick up your own backpack and move on.

Sweetheart, just one more thing.  If you are the one being crushed by a “baros”, and you feel like the weight of it is too much to carry, please reach out to someone for help.  In Matthew 11: 30 Jesus says, “for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light”.  

God never meant for you to be crushed by your life.  We have times where we experience crushing loads, but they are not to kill us but to make us more like Christ. You see, Jesus is our example. We are to allow God to shape and mold us in to the image of Christ. You want to know what Jesus never did? He never carried anyone’s backpack.

If you find yourself being crushed by a load of burden today, it’s time to ask for help.  Ask your parents, or a trusted teacher or coach.  Reach out to an adult who has proven to be a Godly person who can help you through this season.  You were never meant to carry your “baros” alone.

And if you are someone who is constantly dumping your backpack on others, like your mom or your dad or your friends, just stop it.  Pick up your “phortion”, stop being lazy, and do the work.  It’s your life and your responsibility.  Stop taking advantage of people’s kindness and just take responsibility for your life.

Chances are, you find yourself somewhere in between, just like I do.  For those of us who are a little bit crushed and a little bit just bearing the burdens of a heavy backpack, pray.  Ask God to show you places where maybe you have put your backpack on someone else’s back, and then do the mature thing and take that responsibility back.  It doesn’t mean you are a bad person just because you made the mistake of letting someone else carry your “phortion” for a season.  The only thing that would make anyone question your character is if you continue to allow someone to take care of your daily responsibilities after you know you should be handling it yourself.

So, what will you do?  Will you be brave enough to deal with angry people when you put down their backpacks?  Will you be brave enough to pick your backpack up off the floor or off the shoulders of some loving person who has been carrying it for you?  Will you be brave enough to seek out those with crushing loads, and will you do the good work of helping them bear that weight?

I believe you will be so free when you finally do the work of carrying only what God intended for you to carry.  Nothing more and nothing less.

This isn’t just a one and done type of change.  I have to constantly monitor my “phortion” and my “baros”.  I have to constantly monitor the “phortion” and “baros” of those around me.  It is way too easy to just pick up someone’s backpack because it’s just easier than the fight.  It is just too easy to accidentally put something on someone without meaning to.  It isn’t mean or disrespectful to have boundaries when it comes to your responsibilities and the responsibilities of those you love.  You are not a bad person for putting down someone’s backpack, no matter what they say.  You MUST balance your backpack every single day, so you have the energy, time, and resources to help others with their crushing loads.