Dreaming About Being an Author

I once heard a pastor give a message about finding your God-given purpose in life.  One of the practical steps she offered was to go back to your childhood and think about what you dreamed about, played, and imagined when you were little.  She offered that there may be clues in that season of life to lead you to who God created you to become.  She said that when we are little, before the world had gotten ahold of us through shame, guilt, ego, survival, and drive for personal success, we can find clues to what God planted in our spirit before we were formed in our mother’s womb.  The games we played and the things we did and thought about when we were children can definitely be closer to our heavenly purpose than what we as adults spend our lives chasing. 

I believe there is a lot of truth to that statement.  You see, I have watched kids for decades through my career as a middle school English teacher.  I have seen them with hopes and dreams in eighth grade, dreams of careers that are exciting and fulfilling.  Dreams to make the world a better place.  Dreams to live a life of purpose and joy.  After the course of four years in high school though, I often see the very same dreamers, sitting at graduation in their caps and gowns, and they have completely changed what they hope for their future.  By their senior year, young adults have given up their “fantasy career” for something more practical.  I understand why that happens.  College is expensive.  Even if college wasn’t part of the plan, there are still bills to pay at home.  There are children to care for, or maybe even aging parents who need help with the house payment. Eighth graders don’t have to consider health insurance or whether they will need a 401K in their dream jobs.  All they think about is what that job feels like when they dream.

We tell kids that they need to take a “practical” look at what they want to do with their future. Does that career require special training?  Do you have the money to pay for it? Will that career take you far from home? Will your mom, who is single and raised you all by herself, be able to make it on her own when you leave?

I get it.  The real world is knocking, and you have the answer the door.

That’s why I believe the pastor that preached the message about finding your heavenly calling gave great advice when she said to look back at your childhood and focus on the types of things you played imaginary games about and the things you thought and dreamed about.

And for many, that step will absolutely lead you straight to the feet of Jesus, and the good works God set for you to do in your life.

For example: My husband, Troy, has always dreamed about football.  He says that even when he was little, he would draw X’s and O’s on the back of his homework.  He went to college to play football, and according to him, they “made” him take classes while he played football.  Of course, he knew that was the way it worked, but he will tell you without hesitation that he went to college to play football, and the degree was just a hoop he had to jump through to chase his dreams.

He decided to get an education degree and has had an incredible career as a middle and high school teacher.  In fact, he is one of the most gifted teachers I have ever known.  He has taught English, math, and weightlifting.  He has excellent classroom management skills, and can build solid, respectful relationships with even the toughest students.  And yet, he still draws X’s and O’s on the markerboard in our bedroom every night before he goes to bed.  He coaches football, yes.  Thank God!  Because I can tell you right now that the teaching gig is just the vehicle that makes coaching football possible.  His “practical” job is teaching.  His dream job, his God-given calling, his purpose in life is to grow boys into good, God-fearing men through the game of football.

What he dreamed about, played, and loved more than anything as a kid was the thing that drives him and gives him God breathed fulfillment as a grown man.  I truly believe that football is his calling.

Another example is my son, Robert.  He has loved cattle since he was born.  I think “cow” was probably his first word.  Growing up, he had dozens of stuffed cows in his room, and he had hundreds of small, plastic toy calves that often scattered the floors of our house. He would set up elaborate farms where there were cattle pens, stalls, and barns from the kitchen to the entryway.  I know that as his sister is reading this, she is remembering weekends where Robert would set up “county fair” and ask her to play.  She was such a good sport, although setting up the fair was really her only job.  Once it was time to play, he disappeared into his own little world where he was a grown up, doing what he loved…… fitting and showing cattle, and she was dismissed until it was time to clean it all up. 

When he was in kindergarten, we got him his first bottle calf.  That boy would spend HOURS out in that barn with that calf sometimes so much so that we joked he should take his sleeping bag out there and just sleep with the calf.  Which, of course, he thought was a great idea!  Over the years, he showed dozens of calves for 4H and FFA.  Today, as a 21-year-old man, he has started his own cow-calf herd.  He has hustled and worked his tail off, so he can continue in the cattle business.

Now don’t get me wrong, it didn’t come easy.  Anyone that understands the cattle business knows that money is a HUGE factor in running your own operation.  And yet, he is managing to piece together his future by combining his dreams of owning a cattle business with the more “practical” opportunities that farming can offer. I know that there were people who tried to discourage him over the years by telling him that there was no money in cattle, but the God-given desires in his spirit wouldn’t let him give up on his dreams.  He is now living in his Kingdom purpose, and it is obvious that God’s hand is on his life and his future.

So, what about me, you ask?

Like I said, I never wanted to be an author.  I never dreamed about it.  I never played “author” growing up.  I never took a single writing class unless it was required for school.  Sure, my years of teaching English helped me polish my skills in spelling, grammar, and writing.  But dreams of becoming an author? Nope!  This author gig has taken me completely by surprise.

So what, then, of the argument that your child-self knows better than you do about what God planted in your spirit?

What did I play, dreamed about, and image when I was little?  Honestly? What I wanted more than anything when I was a child was to be a mom. I remember playing babies until I was much too old to admit to you. I played house constantly. I still have babydolls in storage that I kept from my childhood because that Cabbage Patch Kid, Sheila Selena, is just too precious for me to let go of.  I remember even in college, looking at moms in stores with babies in shopping carts and feeling an ache for that life.

And my goodness, how God blessed me in that calling.  God gave me the answers to all my prayers in the form of three incredible children.  Anna, Robert, and Ben are the answers to so many prayers and hopes I have had over the years of my life.  There are prayers and conversations I have had with God about them even before I was pregnant with them. I don’t think they have any idea just how I longed for them to be born into my life or just how fulfilled my life has been, simply because I am their mother.

Then what about this author thing?  Welp! My book is called Mom Talks, right? So many insights in this book have come from watching my own children navigate the challenges of their teenage years.  I have been so blessed that they allowed me into the inner court of their world, so I could watch, encourage, and walk beside them in some of the most difficult times of their lives. 

And what they didn’t experience, their close friends often did.  Because I am so blessed to have these deep relationships with my children, they invited their friends into my life, too. I cannot even begin to tell you the number of sleepovers I have hosted, the food I have prepared and fed to starving teenagers, and the times I have said mean things to loud boys at 3 o’clock in the morning because I was trying to sleep, and they were trying to win a wrestling match in the basement. What a privilege I have been given to have so many incredible children to love and walk through this life with.

So, I guess this author thing was maybe something that God really did have planned for my life.

Without becoming a mom, the book Mom Talks wouldn’t exist.

It took me spending 23 years raising children before God could trust me with their stories.  I had to do the work before I was given the responsibility.  I had to prove I could be trusted before I was given the job. I had to be refined in the process before what I wrote was insightful enough for other people to read.

It turns out that the Bible is right. In Ephesians 2: 10 it says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

God prepared me.  He gave me the deep desire to be a mom, then He blessed me with the most wonderful children ever born, then He gave me the opportunities to be refined in the fires of motherhood.  He did all that, just so I could write a little book called, “Mom Talks”, for teenagers to read and used to be led to the feet of Jesus.

My goodness, God is creative, isn’t He? To take a little girl who only ever wanted to be a mother, and use her to spread the good news of the Gospel?  I sure didn’t see that coming!

So, teenagers, take a deep breath and relax.  You see, if God has something planned for your life, He isn’t going to let you miss it.  As long as you stay connected to your Creator, you’ll get there, and every wandering path you take can be used as preparation for when you arrive.  Just talk to Jesus and make a decision. It’s that simple.  Let Him work it all out.  You just enjoy every moment you can in the process.

If you are interested in learning more about Mom Talks, you can find it on Amazon and Amazon Kindle today.